yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
where am i from again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
try to milk me bitch
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
