he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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