Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
