i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
