Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
