My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
