I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
