I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Pooping to opera.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
