she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
