One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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