I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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