so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
