So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
