I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
