and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
