I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
