She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
why do cheetos always look like penises
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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