i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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