I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
