you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
