Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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