I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
