OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
