Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
