We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize