I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
