I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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