You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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