you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize