u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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