I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I am spending my child support on dildos
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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