saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize