I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize