Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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