who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
