It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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