I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
