I'm so fucking centered right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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