Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
