there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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