Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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