why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I am one with the molecules
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize