my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
