wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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