I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
