I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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