Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I will pee on everything he values.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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