I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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