I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
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I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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