BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
