Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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