is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize