hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
