Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sorry about my life...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
