dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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