There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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