i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
