I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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