and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
