Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
