the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
