Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm like, not good at living.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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