If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
