sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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