the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
