Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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