What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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