Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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